Conceptualising shame for theory, research and practice - Mistakes, Criticism and Shame: Challenges

This is the abstract of my presentation for the symposium "Conceptualising shame for theory, research and practice" (organised with Elizabeth Frost - UWE Bristol, United Kingdom, Matthew Gibson - University of Birmingham, United Kingdom, Veronika Magyar-Haas . University of Zurich, Switzerland) at the ESWRA Conference in Aalborg (19-21 April 2017).

Being wrong is an emotional experience. It is not only a recognition of a deviation from external reality and an internal change in what the subject believes and his/her consequent acts, but is also the condition of being stuck in wrongness with no immediate way out (Schulz, 2010). This is unpleasant, especially when accompanied by the sight of the damage done and when internal or external voices not only blame for the wrong action but criticise the whole person. The shift from ‘I/you made a mistake’ to ‘I am/You are a mistake’, that is ‘I am/you are a failure as a practitioner or even as a person’ is easy and common, and shame may be the resulting feeling.

Even if criticism may be useful feedback to give constructive opportunities of learning from mistakes, it is more often felt by people as an attack and a sabotage to their own self-confidence and this produces more commonly a defensive reaction, rather than listening and reflecting. In these circumstances learning from mistakes becomes almost impossible (Sicora, 2017).

Shame as a state of being is hopefully rare amongst social workers, but many people could have experienced this feeling even intensively during their career. Nevertheless, mechanisms of denial and self-defence deeply affect the quality of any intervention and may lead to the refusal to continuously do ‘maintenance’ of personal work tools, like continuing training. This paper will present some conclusions from the most relevant literature on this topic and some of the outcomes of recent explorative research involving a group of Italian social workers.